The time is actually getting less and less between when I need something and when it appears. My childhood certainty is taking over and I am more fully engaged in my life.Admitting to this is difficult as it brings w/ it the fear instilled from childhood as well. Don’t talk about these things, not only will others not understand, the Gods will think you are bragging. Sure enough I would hit a valley, however, did I create the valley w/ my doubt ? It only used to last a day or so and everything would right itself.
I don’t remember when I started feeling unworthy, though I remember the why s. My struggle today is to decide what is done is done and I must finish this life with more success than failure, The Gods will decide what happens next time. I am not going off the rails again, not this time.