MKE week 8

Thoughts, thought, thoughts getting slammed from all directions of my life. And trust me when I say I don’t do well w/ chaos. My logical mind fights to find a clear path to a place that makes sense. My emotions damp down to avoid over-load and a meltdown.Blueprint wants to go back to childhood, as in ” act more like the other children, don’t be so odd, you’ll have friends if you just fit in. And if you knew what my family is, you would find the irony delicious.

This course is reminding me of all I knew as a child and learned to keep to myself. It scared the “others” around me. But it is good to have scientific evidence remind me that what my people taught me , and wanted me to keep quiet about, why I was the weirdo in school, wasn’t crazy. I did create  what I needed or wanted. What I was never sure of was whether I created the thing , or was psychic about what would happen. Knowing makes it easier to stop the blame game. There’s the reason we finish w/ as I will, so mote it be.

Now I work on the rage. We aspies have a lot of rage. Because we don’t show the ” Proper” emotions at the “proper” times. ( There you go, Mark.) People don’t often see how easily offended we are by disrespect and injustice. Our disconnect is us trying not to have a meltdown. Couple that w/ being taught to be careful of emotion , because if your trying to heal someone you don’t want to blast off a body part. I get the fine line between attaching the emotion and not creating while in a negative state.

My challenges right now are taking most of my energy, good thing we have an unlimited source to pull from. However, I am here, listening watching absorbing. I appreciate the responses I’ve had, and must catch up, and I am following you as well. Can hardly wait for the big reveal. Happy Holidays

 

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2 thoughts on “MKE week 8

  1. I have had struggles to, but I realized today I am staying positive for longer periods of time. I did not realize I was approaching just beginning my day with wariness and sometimes dread. I’m not doing that anymore. That’s a win. It is micro small changes that I am finally starting to notice especially when I make myself stop and stand still in any given moment outside the SIT. Cheering you on. Great post so open and honest. Thank you for sharing.

    Juneta’s MKE Blog

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  2. Powerful post. Reminded me of feeling too much and not enough all at the same time at previous times in my childhood. Also of the Marianne Williamson quote: “…Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…” Thank you for sharing.

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